The Rantings and Ravings of Cashew

Tuesday again!

2007-09-25T12:21:53Z

WoW servers down.

I suppose I should do some housework.... I really should. But, what do we do first?

Girly prettifying stuff. Pluck, buff, cream and exfoliate yourself to goodness. Brows, Legs, facial, toes..

Good stuff. (maybe I won't look like a neanderthal tonight, for a change.)

Servers up 11am West Coast time.

I should have things ready by then!
---Cashew

i_am_a_cashew @ 2007-09-09T08:59:00

2007-09-09T12:59:01Z

Nutella
2 cups whole raw hazelnuts
1 cup powdered sugar
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
up to 1/4 cup vegetable or nut oil
1/2 tsp vanilla

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Place hazelnuts in a single layer on a shallow baking pan. Toast until the skins are almost black and the meat is dark brown, about 15 minutes. Stir the nuts halfway through baking so ensure an even color.

Since the skin is bitter, you’ll want to discard them. Wrap the cooled hazelnuts in a clean kitchen towel or paper towl, and rub until most of the skins have come off. Don’t fret if you can’t get off all the skins.

Process nuts in a food processor, scraping down the sides of the bowl occasionally, until they have liquefied, about 5 minutes. At first, you will get coarsely chopped nuts, and then it will turn into a fine meal. After a little while, the nuts will form a ball around the blade, and it will seem like you only have a solid mass. Keep processing. The heat and friction will extract the natural oils, and you will get hazelnut butter!

When the nuts are liquidized, add in the sugar, cocoa and vanilla. Slowly drizzle in enough oil to make a spreadable consistency. Since the mixture is warm, it will be more liquidy now than at room temperature.

Transfer the spread to an airtight container, and store refrigerated for up to 1 month. For best results, stir the Nutella before using.

How to Relax

2007-07-30T08:46:31Z

I figured I'd title this post this, because I need to relax. I just can't do it at the moment. Why? Well, if you must know, I have to go and visit my job tomorrow... I haven't been there in about 5 weeks due to injury.

I'm anxious because of this, and can't sleep. Its most likely an unfounded anxiety, but hell, work in general stresses me out. Now, I'm home and still stressed to the max.

Usually, when I need to calm down, I double numbers in my head. If you know me, you'll know that math is not my forte, but oddly enough, I have to devote enough of my brain power to do this that I end up calming down. Its strange, but oddly useful... usually.

I think I've been doing it too much to be effective, where I seem to have memorized too many numbers to make it a mind occupying exercise, because after I get to about 6 or 7 digits, I start getting confused, and it bothers me.

So... In this entry, I'm going to do my doubles here. Lets see if it helps.

And, yes, I"m going to cut this, because it has the potential to either be 1) incorrect after a while, or 2) really really long, or 3) Both.

1
2
4
8
16
32
64
128
256
512
1024
2048
4096
8192
16384
32768
65536
131072
162144
324288
648576
1297152
2594504
5189008
10378016
20756032
40512064
81024128
162048256
324096512
648193024
1296386048
2592772096
5185544192
10371088384
20742176768
41484353536
82968706162
165937412324
321874824646
643749649292
1287599299584
2575198599968
5150397199938
10300794399876
20601588799752
41203177599504
82406355199008
164812710398016

ok, enough of that... I'm legimately tired now... maybe I'll actually sleep.
Worst part is I gotta be up in 4 hours. I take that back... I've been doubling for 45 minutes... 3.

I'll take a nap this afternoon, and if I'm working, I'll work... If I'm home, I'll nap then WoW a little more.

Gah.
--Nut

PS... made 60 on WoW. I did 5 levels in 3 days. I should get an award.... I can't keep up that pace, but if I did I could get to 70 next week.
Amazing
-Nut

Today... busy day

2007-07-27T17:18:25Z

Today I:

- Went to the Dr's and got cleared to return to work on monday. I'm not looking forward to it personally, but I'm so broke, even though I'm not at 100% I kinda have to go and take it easy

- Washed all the dishes. I freakin HATE Dishes. But, their done.

- Sorted the Laundry. I would have put in a load, but all the machines are in use. Plus its too damn hot to run laundry up and down now.

-Washed the Tub. Well, really, its in a state of 'Marinate in scrubbing bubbles' I'm also gonna change the shower curtain, as it is, in a single word.. Funky.

To do later (after the sun goes down a bit, as its hot as hell in here.)

--Change Sheets
--Cook Dinner (Ribs, Left over squash over rice and stringbeans)
--Do Laundry.
--Take Shower, again...

Now, though, I"m gonna play world of warcraft for a while. I found a new good guild. They rock, and have ventrilo, which if you play WOW endgame, it really helps!

Did I mention I'm rapidly approaching WoW endgame? level 56 hunter!

Woot!
I'm off to take my well deserved break.

--Nut

Time differences.

2007-07-24T12:46:20Z

Ever tend to notice that when you want to play wow, its down for the morning maintenance.

Gah.

It won't be up till 11 am pst.

PST!!! Gah.

Thats like 5 hours. Oh well.

I'll be around... I might just clean the house.

Funny

2007-07-24T11:18:19Z

Four young novice nuns were about to take their vows, dressed in their white gowns. They entered the chapel where the Mother Superior was waiting for them for the ceremony to marry them to God. In front of them on the table were the four wedding rings.

Just as the ceremony was about to begin, four Hasidic Jews with their yarmulkes, payis and long beards came in and sat silently in the front row.

Somewhat taken aback, the Mother Superior said to them, "I am honored that you would want to share this experience with us, but do you mind if I ask you why you came?"

"We're from the groom's side."

Howdy Journal-of-doom!

2007-07-21T11:23:38Z

Just pulled an all nighter.

Finished Harry Potter.

I cried twice.

And, I won't divulge anything, so friends list, no worries, ok?

I'm hitting the hay, then I'm going to re-read. Possibly not in 6 hours, alrighty?

--nut

update...

2007-06-15T23:47:12Z

I've got a partial rupture of my plantar fascia.... I'll be in a cam-walker boot for at least a week or two.

This sucks. This boot is an ugly shade of light gray. Gray, like my mood.

I've got to go call the disability insurance company on monday, so at least we can afford to pay the rent. Once I'm back on my feet, I'm going to call the disabilty company and increase the money they'll pay per month... hopefully, it'll all be okay...

I"m going to sit and pay some bills, then, figure out finances.

I think I'm going to have them double my disabilty coverage... 500 a month just aint enough. Thank the gods for the union and the state. Gonna have to figure out how to do that on monday... I guess I'll be calling human resources... I think between all the insurance moneys, it'll come to somewhere around 800-850. hopefully.

This sucks.
--Cashew

Sugar Free Fudgesicles

2007-06-15T16:15:57Z

Are awesome.

Creamy, heavenly little bits of chocolately goodness on a stick. Is there anything they can't do?

Anywhoo, dear sweet Journal,

All is okay at the moment. I am exhausted, and there is absolutely no reason why.
...

Why? ok, the foot is still hurting, I think that's still a part of it.
-
Yeah, I hurt my foot, geez, it must be about three or four weeks ago now... The doctor I originally went to said "I don't like the way this looks. You wanna go to the podiatrist, we have one downstairs now, he can get you an x-ray asap," to which I replied, "What the hey. Might as well deal with it now."
So, I went to the podiatrist who said "I don't like the way this looks." So , we took an x-ray and it was normal, unlike the ugly swelling on the bottom of my foot. So, he ended up padding me up and bandaging me, on the order of, try the cheap solution first.
-
Well, I got an MRI three days ago, and I'm anxiously waiting for the doctor to call me back and let me know what the results are. I'm really hoping that it's nothing serious, just some minor plantar faciatis. Hopefully. I can't afford to be out of work for a month.
-
Yes, it would really suck. I think that the discomfort is making it hard for me to get 'good' sleep. Mind you, I have no problem sleeping-- getting to sleep is the last of my worries... its the whole dropping into that deep restful sleep. Apparantly, according to Rich, I was talking in my sleep all night last night! I had a weird dream too. All I'm going to say is that I think I'm watching too much discovery channel, and that I should look into getting in contact with some of my old friends who've moved away.
-
Okay, Journal, I'm going to get going, I really should get to washing the bathtub, it's super-gross in there... I can't find my good 'Tub-Washing' brush anywhere... It's most likely still in a box somewhere, or buried in the bowels of the closet... We've still got 9 gadzillion boxes still needing to be unpacked...

Oh, and just to let you know... be expecting a party sometime after my birthday, that weekend. I'm on vacation, and am aching to have a shindig. Consider it a housewarming/b-day fiesta.

With love, and eternal gratitude for your unwavering ear,
Your local, Friendly
Cashew

Dear Journal,

2007-06-05T12:23:21Z

It's me again.

I'm still here, lurking around, reading what I can. Lately, I've been off my feet--I thought that when I hurt my foot a few weeks ago, it was really nothing.

So-- Turns out I may have ruptured a ligament in my foot, and I'm in something called an unna boot, which is a sort of compression bandage for support, that I'm not allowed to remove until next monday.

Did I mention that I can't even get this thing wet? Gah. Foot powder and a washcloth to the rescue. I'm just hoping that it won't be too hot today (as I watch the thermometer just rise on past eighty today... ok, foot powder, deodorant and a washcloth... I feel gross already.)

On monday, I go back to the podiatrist who works just downstairs from my PMD, and get this darned boot off, and we'll evaluate for an MRI. Hopefully I'll be feeling better, the unna boot is helping me to 'offload' onto the good part of my foot, so although I'm walking in a decidedly gimpy fashion, I can walk more than a few feet without wanting to break into tears... although a nice night at work-- a 12 hour overnight shift-- will test the feesablity of doing this.

The podiatrist offered me to take a few days off, but like the giant mook that I am, I said (and quite truthfully at that) I can't go off work, I have to work to pay my bills...

Is disability really that bad? Honestly, yes, yes it is... I'd have to forbear on my student loans again... and that's gotta be hell on your credit... also, it'd put my paying rent in jeopardy, and I'd never see Rich, as he'd have to do serious overtime so we don't have to eat cat food in the dark (at least its coming into summer and it wouldn't be cold... lets just say in the oppressive heat of a NYC summer.)

Man, my foot aches. I'm really hoping that it's nothing altogether too serious. I'm going on vacation in a few weeks... nowhere really, I was hoping to maybe throw a party the end of the month... a birthday/cocktail/yes, its summer and I have an AC party. Lets see how I'm walking in a week.

Oddly enough, all this bru-ha ha is making me depressed. Then again, I could just be really tired... or, just unhappy that I have to buy ANOTHER pair of shoes, so I can work. Right now, just anything that I can stick my foot into that I can walk in works... only problem? The only thing I can walk in is Crocs... and not the imitations either. So, I'm gonna go broke buying nice shoes. At least I'll be able to walk in them... I own the flip-flops that they sell. They make your feet go 'AAH' and not "AARG!" which, I suppose would only be appropriate if I was a pirate.

Ok, journal... I've got so much to do, and so little time to do it in... After tonight, I'm off for 2 days, so I think I'm going to make the flowers I need tomorrow and start baking the day after. I've got to cook 6 giant yellow cakes for Ed and Deb's wedding, and get them covered in fondant and flowers and royal icing.

All in all, it should be a blast.

With love, and eternal sleeplessness
--Cashew

Hi Journal, its me again.

2007-05-17T07:19:34Z

Hello Journal,

Today I'm writing to you, because I'm still awake. It's nearly a quarter after 3, and I just can't seem to get to bed. I figure that while I'm awake, I'll avoid the bed like the plague, which I suppose is a good thing. After all, the powers that be in certain mediatastic authority insist that the bed be only used for sleeping and sex.

Sleeping and Sex. That's an extremely limited amount of goodness to do in such a wonderfully comfy zone. I think just for that I'm going to acquire an overbed type table, or at the very least a 'c' frame table to serve as both a night stand and a computer desk for me. I figure that it can't be that hard to create, I might just have a PVC bits and pieces. Well, more bits than pieces, which I think would be helpful. Worst case scenario is that I draw a schematic, then hand my dad a 20 and send him off to home depot to create my vision of wonderfulness.

I can see it now, all shiny and grand.

I'll spray paint it silver, and make it look like it should be strapped to the back of a delorian.

Yeah. This sounds good.

Ok, dear Journal, thanks for listening to my stream of thoughts.
I think I'm going to post to you in this format for at least a while.

With love, and knowledge that my charachter just landed in the Rutherean village, I'm off to play WoW a while then head to bed. Before 4. I promise.
--Cashew

i_am_a_cashew @ 2007-05-16T15:03:00

2007-05-16T19:06:13Z

I took the "The Nine Muses" quiz on gURL.com
		My muse is... Urania Urania is the patron goddess of astronomy. Her name means "Heavenly" because she keeps her sights on the stars. Often depicted with a globe, Urania can elevate her followers to great fame. Read more... Who is your muse?

i_am_a_cashew @ 2007-05-03T13:34:00

2007-05-03T17:36:13Z

This is Major Cashew checking in!

2007-05-03T07:52:44Z

hello all who read this blog, I know it's been a while. I think I must be one of the least reliable bloggers out here in the 'blogosphere'. Is that even a word? I can't say, I don't really know. At the very least, I'm going to post a 'What's going on in the life of the greatest nut the world has ever known" (can you suppose I've been listening to too much Chickenman on the radio lately?)

As for what's up, the move is complete. We're in the new apartment, still living out of boxes. Slowly but surely, it's shaping up to be quite interesting. We have new furniture, and a collection of candles to rival most monasteries. (Many thanks to various online sources to teach me to spell monastery, and not have it looking for a vaginal cream.)

Work is still work. It still sucks, and, as dead end as it is, it's still a paycheck at the end of every week. If nothing else, they haven't fired me yet, and I've come to the conclusion that they'll have to terminate my employment for me to leave. You can't vacation on unemployment if you quit. Oh well, I figure that I have a few more good years in me there, so if you're feeling up to visiting me at my workplace as either a patient or visitor to the clients, I'll probably be there or a while. Most likely chance though, because of the stupid overnight shift I'm working, I'll probably say 'hi!' then kick you out because I come in about an hour before visiting hours are up. 8pm rolls around and 'EVERYBODY OUT OF THE POOL!"

I just realized that I never use the left shift button on my computer, I've figured out that I only use the one on the RIGHT and type with my other fingers around it to make up the difference. It's considerably odd, but I suppose that it's me in a nutshell.

Wedding planning is going slowly. I have to call the fort and see if they have an updated price list and menu. The one I got the last time I was up there is old, and odds are that the prices went up. A minor price increase is something I can deal with. It appears that my family acknowledges that they will be ponying up a fair share of the wedding expenses. I'm considering having the ceremony at the fort too, a simple handfasting. A fast fasting? But, (and here goes that beginning of the sentence use of a preposition that I know is practically illegal now-a-days. Watch me flaunt destroying grammar laws like they were marshmallow peeps in the microwave!) but, like I was saying, I don't even have an officiant in mind. If anyone who reads this has any ideas, let me know!

The main reason that the wedding is on my mind is that I recently got a reminder e-mail from the Knot that says 'Hi, its 18 months from your date. Get your ass in gear!' I'm seriously considering a maypole dance at the wedding. It'd be interesting, if nothing else.

What else?

I suppose that would be the end of my post. I should probably crawl back into bed. I passed out around eightish or so, and woke up around one or two. I washed my makeup brushes and fixed the shaker pots of my bare minerals makeup (which I think is the only stuff that really works for me). I'm continually practicing with it until I get good enough so that I can do it on my own big day. Somehow I don't think that a professional makeup artist is an option price-wise for the wedding. We'll see. Somehow I want to keep the wedding under 10k. Wish me luck... food alone is going to cost 5-6k. This should be interesting.

Mildly stressed,
Your Favorite Nut!
(She's everywhere, She's everywhere!)
Cashew!

i_am_a_cashew @ 2007-03-30T15:22:00

2007-03-30T19:24:11Z

Plucked from: http://awkwardthingsisaytogirls.com/2007/02/why-geeks-make-good-lovers/

Why Geeks Make Good Lovers

One of the Universal Truths that lie just beyond the fabric of modern society is the axiom that geeks, along with nerds and other peoples who overinvest in intelligence but boast underdeveloped social skills, make the best lovers. Once people realize this, the sexual revolution that will sweep through western culture will make the seventies look like the fifties, and I’m not talking about wider pants. The reasons why geeks are unparalleled as lovers are simple and many:

Geeks don’t sleep around. Geeks, through their higher IQ and therefore greater understanding of the tragedy of human condition, know that the dice only seem to have more sides on the other side of the table. Hence, they instinctively stay loyal to their lovers through thick and thin. Their social skills are also not well developed enough to support an affair, and frankly, geeks generally aren’t quite sure how they ended up with the lover they have attracted. When you date a geek, you know the geek will be yours until you are done.

Geeks are good at the things they try. When’s the last time you met a geek who didn’t have some secret skill just simmering below the surface of a simple-seeming life, honed in the wee hours of the night? It could be hacking, playing video games, or the ability to insert and remove those stupid computer power plug things from drives without cursing or breaking a finger. Let sex become their new favorite late-night hobby, and you know that a geek won’t quit until he or she has learned how to hack into your brainstem through specific genitalia interfacing in parallel with general dermal and oral bonding.

Geeks are not interested in status. Geeks became geeks because they chose to spend their time doing things that would not necessarily make them popular with everyone else in school, like sports and fashion. The ability to resist peer pressure is important to a geek. This means that a geek is more interested in their or your happiness than looking good to others, which will come in handy when either (a) you need attention, in any sort ranging from the nurturing to the lascivious, and also, because both of those things are not necessarily unorthagonal dimensions, any combination of the two, or (b) you need to be rescued because it is the climax of a teen 80’s movie. Or both.

Geeks haven’t formed bad habits. After years of serially dating lots of other women, many socially successful guys have become too confident to be intimate, think of women only for sex, and don’t have any intention of letting what in their minds is “just another girlfriend” enjoy the last spring roll. Let us not even pry into the diabolical, dark, twisted, and depraved mind of the girl who has serially dated many men. None of this is true of the geek, however. The lack of past romantic partners allows the geek to approach lovers with the zest of the neophyte. Geeks are not full of romantic confidence; however, once coaxed from their emotional holes like tame bunnies, they are eager to please and enjoy their newfound relationship.

Geeks can concentrate. Geeks can focus their energy on one task with the intensity of a hunting cheetah. Granted, the task they are focusing on may have more to do with hunting orcs with a +1 Sword of Piercing rather than hunting gazelles with claws, but the fact remains that a geek, once set upon a task and given Mountain Dew, becomes a tireless slave to their goal. Put a six-pack of Dew on the bedside table and a geek between the sheets, and you have found yourself one relentless lover. When’s the last time all night actually meant all night? When’s the last time you were with someone who, if they needed more of the night, knew how to get it?

Geeks have excellent finger dexterity. Geeks roll dice. Geeks play video games. Geeks flip pages in books. Geeks type a lot, and use characters like ~ and ^ and | that no one else has any use for. Geeks use calculators in postfix notation. As a result, a geek knows how to use his or her fingers to greatest possible effect. Whether you have a button that needs pushing or a joystick that needs joy, a geek is the person for the job.

Geeks have imagination. Once you have found your amazing lover, you wouldn’t want things to become boring. That is where geeks prove their real worth. Replayability is important to the value-conscious video-game playing geek, and this translates to relationships as well. Wouldn’t you want to date someone who has created a Quake 3 mod? Wouldn’t you want to date someone who has written steamy Everquest fan fiction involving elven incest? Wouldn’t you want to date someone who wished they were Morpheus rather than someone who wished they were Barry Bonds?

There are plenty of other reasons why geeks are the best lovers around, but don’t just take my word for it. Find the nearest sexy geek and coax that person into asking you out, even if you have to do so using instant messanger. Remember: the only non-sexy geek is a single geek.

HUGE meme

2007-03-28T20:05:37Z

(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

✓ I miss somebody right now.	× I don't watch much TV these days. (most of the time.)	✓ I own lots of books.
✓ I wear glasses or contact lenses.	✓ I love to play video games.	× I've tried marijuana.
✓ I've watched porn movies.	× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.	✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
✓ I curse sometimes. (alot, really)	× I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.	× I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.

* * * * *

✓ I have broken someone's bones. (CPR's a bitch.)	× I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.	× I hate the rain.
✓ I'm paranoid at times.	✓ I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.	✓ I need/want money right now.
✓ I love sushi.	✓ I talk really, really fast.	× I have fresh breath in the morning.
× I have long hair.	× I have lost money in Las Vegas.	✓ I have at least one sibling.
× I was born in a country outside of the U.S.	✓ I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.	✓ I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
✓ I like the way that I look.	× I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.	× I am usually pessimistic.
✓ I have a lot of mood swings.	✓ I think prostitution should be legalized.	× I slept with a roommate.
✓ I have a hidden talent.	× I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.	✓ I have a lot of friends.
✓ I have pecked someone of the same sex.	✓ I enjoy talking on the phone.	✓ I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
✓ I love to shop and/or window shop.	✓ I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.	× I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
✓ I have a mobile phone.	× I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.	✓ I've rejected someone before.
✓ I currently like/love someone.	× I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.	✓ I want to have children in the future.
✓ I have changed a diaper before.	✓ I've called the cops on a friend before.	× I'm not allergic to anything.
✓ I have a lot to learn.	× I am shy around the opposite sex.	✓ I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
✓ I have at least 5 away messages saved.	✓ I have tried alcohol or drugs before.	× I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
✓ I own the "South Park" movie.	✓ I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.	× I enjoy some country music.
✓ I would die for my best friends.	× I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist.	× I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
✓ I think Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.	× I have dated a close friend's ex.	× I am happy at this moment.
× I'm obsessed with guys.	× Democrat.	× Republican.
✓ I don't even know what I am.	✓ I am punk rockish.	✓ I go for older guys/girls, not younger.
✓ I study for tests most of the time.	× I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.	✓ I can work on a car.
× I love my job(s).	✓ I am comfortable with who I am right now.	× I have more than just my ears pierced.
✓ I walk barefoot wherever I can.	× I have jumped off a bridge.	✓ I love sea turtles.
✓ I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.	✓ I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.	× I am proficient on a musical instrument.
✓ I hate office jobs.	× I went to college out of state.	× I am adopted.
× I am a pyro.	✓ I have thrown up from crying too much.	✓ I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved.
× I fall for the worst people.	✓ I adore bright colours.	× I usually like covers better than originals.
✓ I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays.	✓ I can pick up things with my toes.	× I can't whistle.
× I have ridden/owned a horse.	× I still have every journal I've ever written in.	✓ I talk in my sleep.
✓ I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century.	✓ I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.	× I wear a toe ring.
✓ I have a tattoo.	✓ I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.	✓ I am a caffeine junkie.
× I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all.	✓ If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder.	✓ I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
✓ I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner.	✓ I'm an artist.	✓ I am ambidextrous.
× I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed.	× If it weren't for having to see other people naked, I'd live in a nudist colony.	× I have terrible teeth.
× I hate my toes.	✓ I did this meme even though I wasn't tagged by the person who took it before me.	× I have more friends on the internet than in real life.
× I have lived in either three different states or countries.	× I am extremely flexible.	× I love hugs more than kisses.
× I want to own my own business.	× I smoke.	✓ I spend way too much time on the computer than on anything else.
✓ Nobody has ever said I'm normal.	✓ Sad movies, games, and the like can cause a trickle of tears every now and then.	✓ I am proficient in the use of many types of firearms and combat weapons.
× I like the way women look in stylized men's suits.	✓ I don't like it when people are unpleased or seem unpleased with me.	✓ I have been described as a dreamer or likely to have my head up in the clouds.
× I have played strip poker with someone else before.	✓ I have had emotional problems for which I have sought professional help.	✓ I believe in ghosts and the paranormal.
✓ I can't stand being alone.	✓ I have at least one obsession at any given time.	× I weigh myself, pee/poo, and then weigh myself again.
✓ I consistently spend way too much money on obsessions-of-the-moment.	× I'm a judgmental asshole.	✓ I'm a HUGE drama-queen.
× I have travelled on more than one continent.	✓ I sometimes wish my father would just disappear.	✓ I need people to tell me I'm good at something in order to feel that I am.
× I am a Libertarian.	× I can speak more than one language.	✓ I can fall asleep even if the whole room is as noisy as it can be.
× I would rather read than watch TV.	× I like reading fact more than fiction.	✓ I have pulled an all-nighter on an assignment I was given a month to do.
× I have no piercings.	✓ I have spent the night in a train station or other public place.	× I have been so upset over my physical gender that I cried.
× I once spent Christmas completely alone because there was a miscommunication on which parent was supposed to have me that night.	✓ There have been times when I have wondered "Why was I born?" and may/may not have cried over it.	✓ I like most animals better than most people.
✓ I own a collection of retro games consoles.	✓ The thought of physical exercise makes me shiver.	× I have hit someone with a dead fish.
× I am compulsively honest.	× I was born with a congenital birth defect that has never been repaired.	× I have danced topless in front of dozens of complete strangers.
✓ I have gone from wishing I was a girl to revelling in being a boy to feeling like a girl again in the span of five minutes, and not cared a whit for my actual sex.	× I am unashamedly bisexual, and have different motivations for my desires for different genders.	✓ I sometimes won't sleep a whole night or eat a whole day because I forget to.
× I find it impossible to get to sleep without some kind of music on.	✓ I dislike milk.	× I obsessively wash my hands.
× I always carry something significant around with me.	✓ Sometimes I'd rather wear a wig in day-to-day life than use my own hair.	× I've pushed myself to become more self-aware and thereby more aware of others.
× Even though I live on my own I still cry sometimes because I miss my mother.	× I hand wrote all the HTML tags in this document.	✓ I've liked something which a majority of people claimed was either bad or weird.
× I have been clinically dead for a brief period of time.	✓ Instead of feeling sympathy/empathy with people and their problems, I simply become annoyed.	× I participate/have participated in auto drag races and won.
× I do not 'get' most comedy acts.	× I don't think strippers are money-greedy or slutty for dancing.	× I don't like to chew gum.
✓ I am obsessed with history/historical things and can't wait for someone to build a time machine so I can be the first to use it.	✓ I can never remember for the life of me where I parked the car.	× I had the TEEN ANGST thing going for at least 2-3 years.
× I wish people would be more empathic and honest with each other.	× I play Dungeons and Dragons weekly. (Used to... Wish I still did.)	✓ I love to sing.
× I want to live in my mother's basement when I grow up.	× I have a custom-built computer.	× I want to create a certain someone's babies, even though there's a 0% possiblity of ever achieving it.
× I would be in a relationship with one of my pets if they were human.	✓ I've gone skinny-dipping.	× I've performed in three plays.
✓ I enjoy burritos.	× I'm Irish and loving it.	✓ I have a thing for redheads.
× I am a twin!	✓ Most of the times, I'd rather do something intellectual instead of doing something generically 'fun'.	× Once I set out to finish something, I always stay at it until it is completed before I move on to something else.
✓ I wish there were a way to erase past mistakes.	× I sleep more than 12 hours a day. (only if I'm not working)	✓ I wish I could be prouder of what I've accomplished, but it's never enough.
✓ I need more time to myself.	× I wish I was more open-minded.	× I hope that I go really prematurely grey.
✓ I download songs from the internet.	× I've just reenacted chapter 58 of Death Note with my best friend.	✓ I say random things to freak people out.
× I'm still a little mad about the ending of Death Note.	× I love playing Truth or Dare.	× I love listening to slow music, but I hate singing to it.
× Music helps me remember that I am not alone.	× Playing my favorite sport makes me temporarily forget my problems.	✓ I think this survey is particularly long.
× I prefer my LJ friends to my real-life ones.	× I can only hate someone that I love.	× I've ordered an extra two shots of espresso to an Americano at Starbucks.

i_am_a_cashew @ 2007-03-22T20:05:00

2007-03-23T00:07:58Z

iPod's rock.

In the last 48 hours, I've reloaded all of my ipod music from the ipod into the computer. Then, I formatted the iPod, and set it up to work on a Mac.

Now, I have all of my music.

This rocks.

I also bought Rich Voltaire's last 2 albums. They are cool.

--Cashew

My adventure du jour

2007-03-22T22:28:48Z

Hello friends, I had a day that could be classed as interesting to say the least.

My car developed a bit of an odour (see, polite adventure here... it'll get raunchier near the end, I just woke up so that I have to build up a little head of steam), an odor of burning oil. Finally, after said stinkiness, the dreaded oil light went on.

I went into a panicky mode. I knew that I had to take the car in. Need I mention that I do have a rudimentary knowledge of cars. A car without oil, is in all essences not unlike a heart in tamponade, or a knee without its lubrication. They're all prone to seizing. I was actually hoping that the issue would be a small leak.

Nope.

Why would I be that lucky? Apparantly, luck is not something I've come to have... ever. But, alas, what can I do but take the beloved Car... My first baby... eh em, I took the car to the auto shop. I was hoping to have them say, "It's a small hoozit(technical, eh?) gasket, it's a 25 cent part, and will take us a few minutes to repair."Then, the price quoted would be less than a paycheck.

No such luck.

"Well, all your gaskets are leaking, your oil pan is leaking, your belts internal and external are shot because they're covered in oil, and your oil level is at the bottom, that's why the light went on." Okay, I could accept that, as Car is in its tenth year. It's a good car, but then the price they quoted, "Um, ok, tallying all this stuff together, it comes up to," and I can hear the mechanic take in a deep breath, the kind one takes before rattling off a number more resembling the gross national deficit than an auto repair bill.

"Eighteen Hundred dollars for everything you should do."

My eyes water, I turn pale and I swallow the bile that had somehow decided to rise from my gallbladder and settle uneasily into my throat. I might if I didn't pay my bills, but there was no way on this green god's earth that I could afford that. Hell, that's FOUR paychecks. I'm moving in a few weeks. $1800 is my entire budget for furniture, moving and all other goodies.

(Don't mind me, I'm just fiddling with the iTunes, looking for some calming music.)

So, what do I do... The ultimate female cop-out when it comes to dealing with INSANE IN THE NUTBRAIN prices. "I need a minute to call my fiancé and see what he thinks about all of this. I'll be right outside."

I escaped and got some much needed air. Gulping a few breaths of cool refreshing air, I call my soon to be hubby, and GET HIS FRAGGIN VOICEMAIL. I know that his building has crap for reception, but, I manage to ramble off what I'm sure was a very disjointed e-mail. I complete my call, then make another one to him.

Success! It went through. I spoke to him for a few minutes, and he says, "Lemmie call my Dad," (Just to place everyone in the know, his Dad is some sort of Car guru.)

I get a call back minutes later, and Rich says that his Dad will take the car to his personal mechanic, who charges less for labor, and since they have a personal relationship, the repair will be done correctly, and for less money. Only thing, I may have to pay cash. Big whoop, I hate to say it, now-a-days to get anything done right, more often than not you've got to hand over a fistful of Benjamins. (Dear god, I've gone either guido or ghetto. Guietto. White kids with greased cornrowed hair, wearing a platinum hubcap around their neck. Nothin' but da SPINNAHS! Blech.) Mind you, in this time, I have a minor, "All I want to do is just get some sleep, I don't know what to do" breakdown. I've been a teary mess all day.

So I tell the guys in the shop that I want to pull the car off the lift, so that I can get a second opinion on what needs to be done. They look at me in disbelief for a minute, then comply. Rich's dad comes by with his other son, and drive with me to his personal mechanic. No prob, the guys at my regular shop filled Car up with oil, and give me an itemized list of everything that was wrong. Eighteen friggin hundred. For that much, I could put a decent downpayment on a new vehicle. Get a new vehicle, and we'd be a 2 car family again.

Rich's Dad is a very sweet man, this I cannot deny. A southern gent to be true, with a bit of a calming air... which is a good thing, considering that today, I was playing the role of the Panic Queen.(I think that the sheer personal stupidity from me was increased from my lack of sleep.)

So, in the end I went home, and found that the mo-mo's building the houses across the street have dug a several METER long hole in the brand new pavement. I'm pretty sure that's illegal. I plan on finding out, and hopefully getting these idiots fined, if at all possible. I believe that you need a permit. I don't think they had one. Why get a permit, ya know?

Okay, I'm off to chill a bit more... maybe take a shower, maybe epilady myself into oblivion, or maybe, I'll look into the "Linkin's boomerrang' mission on WOW. I think Rich and I are of appropriate level to do that one... He's a pally, but needs the Ranged weapon trinket.

Either way, it's sure to be an adventure.

Loves ya.
--Cashew

Oddly appropriate since I just found all my music again!

2007-03-20T22:00:04Z

1) Have your music library ready
2) Choose one (1) song from your music library who's title starts with the first letter (or number) of your screen name
3) Repeat this process with each successive letter (or number) in your screen name until you run out of letters (or numbers)
4) Post up your results

I want you to want me-- Cheap Trick

A lot of Livin' to do- Sammy Davis Jr.
Money for nothing- Weird Al Yankovic

A Kind of Magic- Queen

Crash into me- Dave Matthews Band
A little bit me, a little bit you- Monkees
Screw the Okampa- Voltaire
His Name is Lancelot- Spamalot original Cast
El Mañana- Gorillaz
Wild and Untamed thing- Rocky Horror Punk Rock show

:)
that was fun

A dissertation opon my employment

2007-03-06T15:09:06Z

Howdy, fair readers of the occasional Cashew.

Today, I thought I'd give a bit of an exhausted ramble about my job. Sometimes I love it, and sometimes I hate every last moment of it. Last shift was a combination of both. I run in, (my very usual skirting in about 5-10 minutes early so the other person I'm relieving can get home somewhat on time. Just as a note, Nurses do not often go home on time.) and instantly feel like I have a fan club. "Cashew, are you going to be on my floor tonight?" and "Nurse, I missed you! You coming up to visit us tonight?" amongst other things. I tend to have a great rapport with the residents in the home. I'd say that out of the five hundred and change residents, about 30-40 % of them know me by name, and request me frequently. The rest are short termers, (we've got about 145 rehab beds, and I'd say because I float, maybe 20% will know me by face, and maybe half of them will know me by name... They stay a short amount of time, and I'm not there all the time.)

Theres this young dude on rehab, he's not that much older than me, if at all. He's in for a rehab course, and whenever he sees me anywhere in the building, he'll specifically ask for me to come and change his bandage. I don't do it all the time, only when I"ve got about 25 minutes to spare (time is precious. They mention it in nursing school, but they just don't mention exactly how precious that it actually is.).

I do admit it, I've got exactly two residents who hate my guts. one is confused, and hates everyone. (she's suffering life, not living it.) and another, that due to a combination of bad choices and bad luck is young and stuck in the nursing home for life. She hates me because I have no reservations about telling her no to some unreasonable requests. (Asking for ice water, pain pills, or to go to the bathroom is not an unreasonable request. Asking me to rearrange every picture on your wall, paint your fingernails, and elaborately style your hair when I'm busy is an unreasonable request. Calling me bad things after I tell you no will cause me to tell you no again, and then walk out of the room to deal with the legitimately sick people. PS... if you have the energy to scream and curse at me(or if you have the gusto to curse me worse than your average sailor), you don't have the right to call yourself a 'sick woman', when a terminal hospice cancer patient suffers silently because she has barely the energy to lift her head.

BTW.... I did 13 hours today and no break. I didnt get to pee till I got home. Did I mention I have to be back at 7.

ok... gonna chase the cat away from the yarn.
love to all
--Cashew

i_am_a_cashew @ 2007-03-02T11:22:00

2007-03-02T16:40:50Z

MYSTERY

Mystery
All my life has been a mystery
You and I were never ever meant to be
It's why I call my love for you a mystery

Different country
You and I have always lived in a different country
And I know that airline tickets don't grow on-a-tree
So what kept us apart is plain for me to see
That much at least is not really a mystery

Estuary
I live in a houseboat on an estuary
Which is handy for my work with the Thames Water Authority
But I know you would have found it insanitary

Taken a violent dislike to me
I'd be foolish to ignore the possibility
That if we ever actually met, you might have hated me
Still, that's not the only problem that I can see...

Dead since 1973
You've been dead now . . . wait a minute, let me see
Fifteen years come next Jan-yoo-a-ree
As a human being you are history

So why do why I still long for you?
Why is my love so strong for you?
Why did I write this song for you?
Well, I guess it's just... a mystery

Lists of things I like, in groups of 5.

2007-03-02T15:01:09Z

5 Favorite Stumbleupon things for today, movie version

http://www.zefrank.com/condi/

http://www.brucefacts.com/random.php

http://wdstw.ytmnd.com/

http://www.lestelecreateurs.com/quick/p_MarcLavoineetBambou.mov

http://video.stumbleupon.com/#p=w7tkdzf7iw

An odd thought, as I probably should be sleeping.

2007-02-27T05:39:51Z

If I were Jesus, and had just decided to do my whole 'Second Coming' thing....

I'd be scared shitless. Wonder why?

I'd head to one of the churches in my name, and upon seeing the crucifix, I'd think that they were a death cult celebrating my death, but not my life, and most horribly, encouraging people to follow in my death, which most likely was a fruitless and stupid thing.

The real question is,

"How wrong would I be?"

If I were Jesus in that position, I'd go into hiding, and try to do small things for small people. I'd be called an eternal optimist, and more likely than not be called crazy, institutionaized, and medicated into a mere shell of myself.

I suppose I'd be glad I didn't pick the time of the crusades or the inquisition.... but then I'd realize that today is no better.

I think for anyone with a religious goal to help others is fundimentally fucked. The current state of the world is for such hate and violence, that absolutely no good can come of it. Crusades, Jihad, Holy War.... a Cult killing the other Cults, for no good reason. Give me war for an anarchist reason, that I can deal with... Don't give me war for god.

(Just in case you don't know me too well... I'm a pagan pacifist. Like I said in the title... it is an odd thought)
--Cashew

Major Cashew to Ground Control.

2007-02-15T21:59:24Z

Cashew here, reporting in in the first time in only god knows how long.

It's been an entire bundle of stress and other assorted bs lately, but this I suppose is life, although it sucks.

On the day before valentines, I caught a patient who was going to fall. Well, lets be honest, I didn't really catch her per se at first. She was standing very unsteadily in the middle of her room, clinging to the overbed table, and attempting to reach for the wall. I jogged into the room, pulled her chair to right behind her and placed my arm around her in order to assist her to sit back into the chair. Before I can say "Ok, we're goig to sit back into the chair," she decides to grab onto me for dear life, and fall forward with me hanging on. Needless to say, she didnt fall, and I didn't land on top of her, which would have been a bad thing, I assure you. I repositioned myself and her so that her center of gravity was over her own feet, then, we completed the transfer into the chair.

As soon as she fell forward, I felt pain in the manner that I've not felt in AGES. I have a bad back, I lost 20 lbs, and all the pain and discomfort went away. Now, fuhgeddaboudit. i can barely walk (I hobbled out of work that night, got nearly trapped in my house yesterday from all the snow and ice, and went to the MD this AM. He basically said, we'll start you on a new muscle relaxer which shouldnt make me tired, and a strong anti-inflammatory drug.

Then, I called my job this morning after going to the MD's office. I was on my cellphone literally right outside the office, and spoke to the staffing coordinator. She said that the Assistant DON wanted to see me for a meeting. I have a feeling that their either going to write me up, suspend me or fire me. I hate to say it, if I get tanked, it might not be entirely a bad thing, but it's seriously giving me a very uneasy feeling in my stomach. I am not a happy camper.

Did I mention that it hurts to sit, stand and lie down... and that walking is just sheer agony?
At least the muscle relaxer is taking the edge offf the spasm while I sit.

What else, what else.
Engaged life is going well. I'm maintaining another blog up at web.mac.com/bacasuso It's my wedding blog, and, seeing that we're about 20ish months out, it should be interesting. On saturday I plan on hobbling through Fort Hamilton's officer's club, which is called the community club apparantly. Rich's parents will be our sponsors there so we can see the facility. Gods be willing, we can have our date, or at the absolute worst, that sunday immediately after, which might not be too bad in the long run. Hopefully, if it goes as to plan, we'll have our location picked and ready by the end of this month, and, it should all be well. I figure once I have my location picked, it'll all be cake from that point on.

I admit it, there will be NO open bar. I know of too many potential issues with that, and I dont feel the need for drunken idiocy at this point. THE BRIDEZILLA HAS SPOKEN (so let it be written, so let it be done.)

Aside from that. I'm going to curl back up in the bed, and watch more television. If I'm feeling productive, I'll bring the computer inside with me and get a final supposed guest count.

I am teh r0xx0rz
--Nut

i_am_a_cashew @ 2007-01-29T14:14:00

2007-01-29T19:15:52Z

Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici.

"By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe."